Even in an era of equal rights and shifting gender roles, misogyny still exists. Taken from the Greek miso, to hate, and gyne, for woman, misogynist is literally a “woman hater.”
Commonly used to describe men who hate women, the last place you’d expect to find a modern-day misogynist is in a solid relationship. How can someone who loves you, respects you and trusts you be a misogynist? Would you recognize misogynists in your relationship? Read on for signs…
- He believes he’s in control of the relationship and can dictate everything from how you wear your hair to what time dinner will be served and what movie you’ll see. He’ll often begin with gentle teasing, then cajoling, before slowly moving on to insults and ridicule to get you to change your behavior or appearance. Listen carefully to his “suggestions.”
- No matter how much you change or try to please him, he is never satisfied. You feel inadequate and guilty, and believe it must be your fault.
- Does your guy punish you by withholding intimacy, money, love or approval because you’ve done something to “offend” him? Misogynists will often use affection as a weapon against women in order to teach them a lesson, or worse, put them in their place.
- When anything goes wrong, he always blames you. If you were more submissive, more sensitive to his needs, more like so-and-so’s wife, a better girlfriend, etc. then all their problems would be solved. He is blind to his own faults and does not take responsibility for his own actions.
- He is possessive and sometimes jealous, especially when you talk and associate with other men. Sometimes he acts jealous of the time you spend with friends and family.
- You feel confused and off-balance when without warning he changes from being loving and kind to angry and cruel.
Getting away from a misogynistic relationship may be difficult. Tell him you’re leaving and he may feign surprise or even cry. Be prepared for an outpouring of love and affection. Misogynists can turn the charm on and off like a switch. You need to be strong and remember that love is an equal partnership. Love is compromise.
How bad does it have to get before you say enough is enough? An abusive relationship saps your energy, strips away your dignity and can be physically dangerous to you. If this sounds like your relationship and you need to break away.