Having a cheating partner is one of the most hurtful things that could ever happen to someone who is in love; it is such an awful feeling. But what do you do after the cheating? How you handle it can have a big part in your recovery process. Cheating usually revolves around a need for satisfaction. Whether it is a man or a woman, the person usually cheats to satisfy a need; sexually, materially, emotionally etc. Although, there is rarely a simple answer to why a partner has been unfaithful, it could also be a symptom of other problems in your relationship/marriage or it could be something relating to your partner’s past. The following tips would help you cope with the aftermath of cheating, help you to heal and move on:
- Accept your pain and embrace your feelings: You’re going to be shocked, confused, angry, and sad; you’re going to feel like you’re on a roller coaster of emotions for a long time. It takes time to recover from the pain of a cheating partner. Don’t expect that you’d completely move on and forget about the pain you felt, even if you’re trying to forgive your partner. Cheating is betrayal and a lot of pain comes from being betrayed from the person that you love the most.
- Avoid Blaming yourself: You might be the worst person in the world, but it’s not an excuse for your partner to cheat. Blaming yourself would only make you feel helpless and bad about yourself. If your partner was unhappy, he/she should have talked about it with you.
- Take time away from your partner: Spend time with family and friends. It’s usually advisable to either you or your partner moves out of the house for a bit. Being away from your cheating partner could help you decide what to do and how to handle the situation. Spending time with friends can help distract you from the situation for a bit, which in the end helps you to feel better.
- Take Care of yourself: You may have some physical reaction to the situation such as sleeplessness, overeating, not eating, illness etc. Once the initial shock of the situation has passed, try not to get too carried away with yourself. Eat healthy, sleep properly, exercise, and do not overthink. It’s not as easy as it sounds, it’s a lot easier to let yourself go but you have to try very hard not to. Focus on positive self-talk every day.
- Seek Counselling: Whether you’re planning to stay with your partner despite the cheating or you’re planning to leave, you should seek counselling. Don’t try to deal with the pain and sadness alone, speak to someone about it. It could be a friend or family member, it is more advisable if you seek professional help. An experienced therapist can help you communicate better and can help you deal with the pain better.
- Take it One Day at time: Infidelity is one of the most difficult challenges in a relationship, but it doesn’t always mean it’s the end. As you work through the whole situation, it would become clear to you, what the next phase of your life is, whether it’ staying together or apart.