When most people think about sexual harassment in the workplace, they automatically imagine a woman as the victim. The #MeToo movement has played a significant role in raising awareness of sexual harassment, particularly in the workplace. It has offered a forum for people who have been affected to open up about their experiences. The majority of those who have come forward thus far have been women, with a few prominent exceptions, such as American actors Terry Crews and James Van Der Beek. Does this imply that only a small percentage of men are subjected to sexual harassment?
Anyone, regardless of age, sexual orientation, or gender identity, can be sexually assaulted. Men and boys who have been sexually attacked or abused may experience many of the same emotions and behaviors as other sexual assault survivors, but they may also encounter additional obstacles as a result of society attitudes and preconceptions about men and masculinity.
What is the definition of sexual harassment?
Sexual harassment, according to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, includes both unwanted physical and verbal sexual advances. This can involve making sexually suggestive remarks, making physical moves toward someone, and/or requesting that another person perform sexual actions in order to keep their job. Unwanted embracing, kissing, cornering, or touching are the most typical forms of harassment.
When a person’s sex is used to undermine or bully them, this is known as gender harassment. For example, a woman may express strong feminist ideals while demonstrating her dominance within a firm, thereby shaming her male coworkers and associates.
Common Reactions
Men and boys who have been sexually attacked may endure the same repercussions as other survivors of sexual assault, but they may also confront obstacles that are unique to their situation.
Some adult male survivors of sexual assault feel shame or self-doubt, believing they should have been “strong enough” to fight off the perpetrator. Many guys who had an erection or ejaculation during the assault may be perplexed and unsure of what to make of it. These physiological responses do not mean that you desired, invited, or appreciated the assault in any manner. Know that it was not your fault and that you are not alone if something bad occurred to you.
Males who were sexually assaulted as children or teenagers may react differently than men who were assaulted as adults. Some of the frequent experiences shared by men and boys who have suffered sexual assault are included below. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it may be comforting to know that you’re not alone:
- Anxiety, despair, PTSD, flashbacks, and eating disorders are all symptoms
- Keeping your distance from individuals or places that remind you of the assault or abuse
- Concerns or questions about sexual orientation
- Fear of the worst-case scenario and a sense of impending doom
- Feeling “less of a man” or as if you have lost control over your own body
- Feeling tense, unable to unwind, and having trouble sleeping
- Feelings of guilt or embarrassment about not being able to stop the assault or abuse, particularly if you had an erection or ejaculation.
- Withdrawal from friendships or relationships, as well as a growing sense of solitude
- Fear of being judged or disbelieved if you reveal something
How can male survivors be helped?
It’s difficult to tell someone you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. You may be concerned that you will be judged or that you will not be believed. For many male survivors, macho ideals make it difficult to reveal to friends, family, or the community. Men and boys may have difficulty believing that they may be victims of sexual assault, particularly if it is perpetrated by a woman. Here are some ideas on how you may help a guy or boy who tells you he has been the victim of sexual assault or abuse.
1. Pay attention
Many persons in distress believe that no one understands their situation and that they are not taken seriously. Give them your entire attention to show that they are important. Many survivors find it difficult to report assault or abuse, especially if they are afraid of not being believed due to masculinity stereotypes.
2. Do not inquire about the assault’s specifics
Even if you’re inquisitive about what happened and want to know everything about it, refrain from inquiring about the specifics of the assault. If a survivor decides to share that information with you, do your best to listen in a nonjudgmental and sympathetic manner.
3. Provide the necessary resources
There may be other characteristics of men’s lives may hinder their capacity to obtain resources and services after they have been sexually assaulted or abused. Trans males, for example, may experience challenges obtaining medical treatment, whereas black men in a predominantly white society may be hesitant to approach law enforcement. Be aware of these concerns, and while assisting a survivor, do your best to recommend resources that you believe will be most beneficial.