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I have always found it surprising when I go to the airport and I see people in their Sunday Best. I always think to myself “Are they going for a party immediately they get to their destination?” The good thing is it has reduced, unlike the way it used to be. I sadly was one of those people that travelled in their Sunday Best, so I cannot judge.

My journey started from when I left the gate. Not the airport gate, my house’s gate.

I do not have the Uber app. I got it a while ago and after using it like two times, I was told to put in some barcode thingy. It pissed me off, so I deleted the app.

I had to get my good friend Wendy to help me book an Uber. I needed to be at the airport at least 3 hours before take-off. Imagine my excitement when the Uber driver came on time.

He starts off by saying “So you are running away from Nigeria” and I replied, “Can someone runaway with just one luggage?” and he says “The luggage doesn’t matter, what matters in what is in the bank” I remembered thinking how wrong the guy was. Like I was literally broke, all I had was the cash on me. If someone robbed me at that point, I would have taken to the streets and my begging career would have begun.

The short journey to the airport was alright. I just had issues with the driver, he talked too much. I am not a huge fan of people who talk too much.

We did face some annoying traffic on the airport road. The road has been under construction or re-construction for ages now. We had to snake our way through the road to get back on track.

He dropped me at the airport, and we said our good byes. I found my way to Rwandair’s check-in point. The dude asked me how much I had, I told him 1000AED. He asked where I was going to, I told him Dubai through Kigali. He told me I had to declare the 1000AED, which I found strange, but I was in no mood to ask questions.

I moved on to a point where a dude scanned my box for narcotics. He asked if I had any food inside and I told him Indomie and he asks “In liquid or solid state” I was like “….. Its Indomie” He goes “You like Indomie sha” I said nothing. He then asks, “Give me Indomie too now” This is how some of these guys ask for money by the way. I said “You said I like Indomie, I sadly don’t share Indomie. LOL” I know I can be a little savage sometimes.

I moved on to immigration after checking-in. The dude asked the usual questions “Where are you going to? Is this your first time? etc” Seeing that it was my first time going to Dubai, he directs me to someone who directed me to another person. SMH, the way we behave in this country.

I go there and he is with another lady. He tells the lady to hold on and asks for my documents. He asks how much I had on me. I tell him I had 1500AED and he said I ought to have at least 1000 dollars. He tells me to go and get the other 700 dollars to make it 1000 dollars and I am like “…” He turns to the woman and asks for her remaining 100 dollars. She said she didn’t have. The guys asks, “So what would we do now?” she goes straight into her bag and brings out 500 Naira. In my mind I was like “NO DULLING” The guy goes “You see as I big reach, you they give me 500 Naira” The babe goes “This is all I have now. I spent all my money on this trip to SA. I am on leave and I need to relax” I believe he pitied her and took her to get her passport stamped.

He comes back to me and asks how far. I clearly understood what he meant but I wasn’t going to give him anything. P.s I am stubborn like that. I tell him “I am spending 6 days in Dubai, I have already bought and booked for all the places I would be going to. Why would I want to spend close to 330,000 Naira for 6 days?” He goes “Okay, go and make it 500 dollars, you have 300 dollars now” I said “I can’t make it 500 dollars, I am totally broke” He says “This is beyond me, maybe you will speak to my Oga” I didn’t say anything. I really wasn’t in a hurry because I was way ahead of schedule. We look at ourselves for a few seconds and he tells me to go get my passport stamped. Unlike the lady, he didn’t follow me to get it stamped. Like hell I was going to give them anything.  Maybe he let me go because I was wearing flipflops. He must have thought to himself “This one no get money” YAY to me

Flip Flops Anytime

By the way, they still collected that 500 Naira, I saw the person who stamped my passport give the new note to someone else to keep.

I have never understood why Nigerians mostly, are always in a hurry to board or leave the plane. The pilot would say before landing that we wait till the engine goes off, but some people are off their seats once the plane stops. WHERE ARE WE RUNNING TO?

It was no surprise when before the attendants could finish setting up the gate for passengers that people had already gotten up and lined up.

I did take my sweet time and within 30 minutes, we were on our way to the plane.

Small Plane

As hot as the day was, we were made to walk on the tarmac to get to the plane. I really wasn’t bothered by this, but I thought we had gone beyond things like this.

Really small Plane
I thought he was coming to beat me

The plane took off before I was able to even relax; I liked it that way.

We were soon served food; “Beef or Chicken” the usual words I hear. The chicken had rice while the beef had potato wedges

I heard somewhere that Airplane food tastes awesome but because of the altitude and something about our sense of smell at that height, we have the illusion that it tastes awful. Well, my food tasted good.

I also had a taste of the salad for your pleasure because I have never understood why people put cream in salad. Salad ought to be healthy, putting cream defeats the purpose of the salad.

Then there is this stuff I just couldn’t try. I may not care much about my stomach but I have my limits. The food looked like a kind of pudding but I am not sure what it really is.

Strange stuff

I did keep my bread bun for a later time. I only had Naira and Dirhams on me. I knew when I got to Kigali airport, it would be difficult to buy food. So the bread was to hold my stomach till I got on my next flight.

How mannerless can we be? A hostess was passing by and in our rude way, a lady calls her “ssssssssss” The hostess was obviously hurt by this. She tells the lady “In our culture, that’s how they call dogs” Truthfully, in any culture, that’s how they call dogs. We need to learn manners. That’s how the two people around me were asking for more plates of food. Sigh, the way some Nigerians disgrace us is sad.

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