Ivan Kadiri, an ardent Temphan, has outlined his 10 RULES FOR WEDDING GUESTS TO FOLLOW IN 2021. Let’s see which you have always followed.
1 . The more expensive the gift: The more expensive the gift, the more food you get. You bring us a Towel, we give you cake icing and sachet water.
2. Don’t wear white: If you have the audacity to wear any version of white clothing, you would be aggressively escorted out by security and sued for intent to cause harm to the loving couple.
3. Mild dancing: you are not allowed to dance more than the couple. You are not auditioning for step up 3 ma’am. Step outside
4. If a child cries, it dies: no kids allowed, this a wedding not a day care. The only crying that is allowed is at how beautiful the brides looks and how nobody can match up to her beauty!!
5. No announcements by guest: don’t attack the couple with your unsolicited marriage proposals!! Take it outside SIR!!! Wedding ceremony not W Bar.
6. Coming late: not allowed! Doors close at 12pm Ma’am. However, A zoom linked would be shared via iMessage to selected guests!! The ones that have dollars
7. No extra guests: if you must violate the “this IV admits one policy” you are required to pay for said guest and it’s 200k!! Confirmation of transfer confirms entry
8. Stealing food/drink is not allowed: if you so much as eat an extra samosa or bold enough to put a bottle of Eva water in your bag! The waiters have been instructed to break you head with bottle! Since we are all mad…
9. Your outfits most be pre-approved: you are required to send in the outfits you intend to wear on the wedding day. Approval secures entry, you would not OUT-STAGE the couple dear!! You are not Beyoncé.
10. No androids: Androids users are required to submit their phones at the gate to prevent a case of ruining such a beautiful event with blurry and ugly pictures. Would be returned after the wedding if needed.