Perhaps the most essential thing we do in life is giving a f*ck. How well we manage what and how we give our f*cks decides whether we enjoy or despise our life.
You’re not concerned with the purpose of your life when you give a f*ck. As your attention sharpens on the object of your given f*cks, problems that used to feel relevant slip away.
Giving a f*ck about the things that matter permits you to stop giving a f*ck about the things that don’t.
Giving a f*ck kills FOMO
We cease giving a f*ck about what we aren’t doing when we give a f*ck about what we are doing.
From the outside, life may appear to be less intriguing, but it is unquestionably more interesting on the inside. You are aware of the importance of your life because you are concerned about something.
This frequently results in a complete metamorphosis. When you care about something positive, you are less likely to be lured by the negative. Your behavior, the people you interact with, and the food you eat all begin to change on their own. Giving a f*ck is a natural outcome of giving a f*ck, not as part of some self-development endeavor.
American philosopher Milton Mayeroff explains it this way:
“It’s not the same as “turning over a new leaf” or “wiping the slate clean” in that instead of becoming estranged from my past because I can’t recognize myself in it, my past, the self I’ve been, is now broadened and has a more expansive life.”
Caring gives life meaning
“No one else can give me the purpose of my life; I have to create it myself.” The meaning is not planned and will unfold naturally; I assist in both creating and discovering it, and this is a continuous process, not a once-and-for-all.” On Caring, Milton Mayeroff.
This is a lot less difficult than the existentialist issue of finding our own meaning. It doesn’t involve any advanced philosophical knowledge or anything else than genuine concern for something or someone.
It isn’t about increasing pleasure or increasing productivity. It’s not about figuring out which trick to use. It isn’t even about locating the ideal frame.
It’s more of a force-of-nature thing. Giving a f*ck with extraordinary generosity and discernment is what it’s all about. It’s all about deciding what you care about and then pouring your heart and soul into it.
It’s your choice, but it’s also not your choice. You may be unconcerned about something you believe you should be concerned about. You can’t make yourself care for something more than you’re capable of caring for it. There is potential for expansion, but inherent curiosity is a plus.
This is how meaning is created. It’s both easy and challenging at the same time.
We feel ourselves at ease in the world when we give a f*ck. This isn’t a one-time event; it occurs on a regular basis. We’re at home when we actually care; we’re lost when we don’t.
We forget about all the other ways we try to establish our place in the world when we give a f*ck. For example, social approval ceases to be something that may provide us with a place to call home in the world.
If social acceptance compels you to cease giving a f*ck about the thing you have to give a f*ck about, it will prevent you from being “in place” in the world. You will never feel at home in your life if you care more about what your parents want you to do with your life than what you want to do with your life. It’s not about revolt; it’s about caring about the things that matter.
If you’re feeling isolated from the rest of the world, try giving a f*ck.
Caring gives you a sense of security
The terrible uncertainty of the world isn’t so scary when we give a f*ck. We become less concerned with predicting the future and more concerned with what we must do to help the item we care about.
An entrepreneur who cares about her business is worried about the future, but she’s certain of one thing: she’ll do whatever it takes to make her company flourish, regardless of what happens in the rest of the world.
We don’t worry about “if” we’ll be able to do something when we give a f*ck because we know we have to.
“There is no try; there is only do.”